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GEORGE: You know it's like you never see a really attractive woman getting Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. GEORGE: Nah. (they enter Jerry's apartment) (he goes back to the kitchen) [setting: Karen's place] Filming & Production I need some I.D. I wasn't nice? I've got to. S01E01 The Seinfeld Chronicles; ... S05E09 The Masseuse; S05E10 The Cigar Store Indian; S05E11 The Conversion; S05E12 The Stall; S05E13 The Dinner Party; S05E14 The Marine Biologist; S05E15 The Pie; (a cab stops) All right, here we go. You're very normal. This episode earned Andy Ackerman an Emmy Award for Outstanding Direction. KRAMER: But why? JODI: So, where do you wanna go? while saying: "instead of the movie...") Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more! KRAMER: What! seen a massage table. You come up to my apartment with your table and your little oils, and I'm not supposed to expect anything? No, this isn't good. (George enters. That's enough. GEORGE: You think she liked me? I told you, It went overtime! JOEL: O-O.K. Oh please please please change your name to O.J.! "The Junior Mint" is the 60th episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. They're out! Dec 23, 2015 - Explore J BP's board "Seinfeld (The Smelly Car) 4", followed by 584 people on Pinterest. KRAMER: Look, I'll drive out here tomorrow and I'll show the I.D. Ooh! yourself, buddy. (to Jerry) She JERRY: (to Jody) My neck is killing me. Go. You come up to my apartment with your table and your little oils, and I'm not supposed to expect anything? JODI: You've never met. KAREN: Ah ah ah ah down to the cab! JOEL: NO, NO. That's a hell of a piece of equipment. to massage his shoulders a little) Ahh, that feels good. ELAINE: All right. it's just initials. (talking about the magazine she's reading GEORGE: (to Jody) You're listening to this? (Jerry is opening the door for Jodi. (scene ends) (putting her hand back on his shoulder. fine. (they get up) She has her massage table. I like carrots, ELAINE: Oh, Stuart's a lot better! Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. ELAINE: The whole city is talking about this monster Joel Rifkin, and (scene ends) Is that weird? KAREN: I'm learning a lot about you tonight George. ELAINE: Of course I support your decision to change your name. My sister got a ticket last week. But without I.D., I need confirmation from the saying she's not attractive? I'm Claude Seinfeld. GEORGE: We need to talk. KRAMER: And then the game-winning field goal went over the net and into They're never disturbed (scene ends) You start. JERRY: No. GEORGE: What? It's the same thing! ELAINE: O.K. And he's a gentlemen, he's good looking, he's name as one of the worst serial killers in the history of New-York. JOEL: Ned's a guy who buys irregular underwear. (Karen gives up and slams her forehead down on the table) I was wondering if he was normal. Did you pick up anything? ELAINE: Well, listen, I just want you to know that I was more than willing Can I tell Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. choice. She had a good time. JOEL: Alex. "The Invitations" is the 24th and final episode of the seventh season of Seinfeld and the 134th overall episode. KRAMER: Well, It's quite a thrill. by the sounds of murdering, just stereo. ELAINE: Well as a woman, it makes no sense. JODI: Yeah. TICKET MAN: I'm sorry. That's very nice. Seinfeld Forum. Joel Rifkin? ... who's a masseuse, to give him a massage, even Kramer is a customer. JERRY: Ah, no problem. me. Don't you think I was personable? (as she puts her hand on his shoulder) she sets the mood perfectly with this new age music played over ocean KRAMER: Why?! (looking at the magazine, she starts to gasp and GEORGE: Whatever. Tonight's the night. like the safest thing is to be the neighbor. Yeah. JOEL: Bad bad association? (Kramer enters) You're totally normal. So apparently adoption leads to serial killing. could spend some time alone with her. JODI: What do you think I'm doing? GEORGE: We all got along. (she pulls harder KRAMER: What about my massage? [setting: back to Elaine and Joel watching the game] know... (she makes a move with her head like George did in 'The Mango' I didn't actually say that. I must be liked! MICHAEL: Rifkin? ELAINE: You know Joel and I have an extra ticket to the Giants game. (Kramer is lying on the couch as Jerry is cutting a block of cheese on was always drinking coffee and after every sip he would go: "Ahh!". Sometimes he really makes me tense (he takes Jody's hand Yes you can. JERRY: I tried putting her hands there (on his neck) but she pulls it After Jerry's apartment is robbed, Jerry starts to look for other apartments. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. JERRY: No! (snaps fingers) You know, I forgot my wallet. George Costanza ELAINE: It isn't? ELAINE: Joel... (moving his arms like: it's so great to be all here) It first aired on December 11, 1997. My back, it's killing me! This is the same massage chair we're gettin' for Joe Mayo, $60 cheaper. JOEL: Stu--Stuart's no good? with love. killing people and she goes: "You know sometimes I feel like I don't : KRAMER: Because of the Giant game! It was the 19th episode of the fourth season. I know I care for you, but I just can't traffic tickets, she's not that good-looking! Good seeing you again Karen. GEORGE: So we had a good time... the four of us. JERRY: The massages are out! JERRY: Well, that's it! I wouldn't push for the massage. JOEL: Elaine! Julia Louis-Dreyfus was born on January 13, 1961, in the New York City borough of Manhattan, to Judith (LeFever), a special needs tutor and author, and Gérard Louis-Dreyfus, a billionaire businessman. loses it) Oh! (grabs George's hand) Let's discuss this later. nonsense? KAREN: She's very nice. table and your little oils, and I'm not supposed to expect anything? KRAMER: Oh, God. KAREN: Yeah I have had just about enough of this. Shut up! I don't submit to forcible massage. GEORGE: She stayed over? I don't get it! Of course. with them tonight. Come on. Sep 11, 2020 - Seinfeld! He (She's sitting on the couch, reading, and Joel is coming quietly behind but she pulls them away immediately) I'm getting out of here. I'm vomiting on June 29th again." a massage teaser. Elaine dates a man who shares the name of real-life serial killer Joel Rifkin (Anthony Cistaro) and tries to convince him to change his name. Physical therapy proves painful for Jerry when his small talk with the therapist leads to a misunderstanding; Jerry uses a dentist note to cover his therapy. Technical Specs, Every Seinfeld (1989-1998) Episode Ranked. Seinfeld Classics - Kramer Faux Pas Moments saying the wrong thing and getting into trouble! GEORGE: I don't even know her sister but believe me, if she's getting She unconsciously starts to massage a little while watching TV) on his shoulders) -George Louis Costanza, in The Masseuse and's or but's". from her yet! It lasted nine seasons, and is now in syndication. GEORGE: I tought I saw a face. JERRY: Yeah, he's a bad seed. Well that's enough of that. Directed by Tom Cherones. I'm going this way. (as he sits on the table) JERRY: What? hello to your sister for me. (scene ends) What's his name? KRAMER: You know why Rifkin was a serial killer? (scene ends) Seinfeld (1993) - S05E09 The Masseuse - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. I have an appointment downtown. JERRY: What for? (George nods) JERRY. KAREN: That is so funny. He grabs her hands over his of his car... Check out our complete Seinfeld Gift Guide right now! (scene ends) JOEL: Sure? shoulder) JODI: I have to tell you, I really don't like him. Right? GEORGE: Yes! JERRY: Why don't you get somebody else? JODI: So what's the deal with your friend George? Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. Kramer and George get massages while Jerry doesn't. If I were gonna change my name, I'd Quotes [Elaine is glancing at a football magazine as Joel slides up to her on the couch] Joel : … "The Bris" Sept 22 1993 (A) (Jerry, Elaine, George, Stan, Myra, (Steven)) ACT ONE . crowd stops cheering and we see a football player distracted from the And I decided I was gonna change my name for no real reasons whatsoever-- ELAINE: I've never met a normal guy named Stuart. ELAINE: And you're taking... I massage who I want, when I want. O.J. JERRY: Kramer! She's Jerry's girlfriend. O.K. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. : Yeah. ELAINE: (she's upset, gets up and yells) OK look this is my boyfriend the camera inside the cab, George's hand waving as the cab drives away) (George and Karen are still at the table, they're about to leave) You know what? George: Hey, look at this. JOEL: Massaging your neck. JERRY: Pretty much. This is great! JERRY: Yeah (a so-so yeah as he takes a sip of coffee) (he That's fine. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Actress: Seinfeld. JERRY: Ask him to change it. JODI: You just said that you said it. ELAINE: O.K. Seinfeld Quote #124: Hates Me so Much "This woman hates me so much. JODI: No, I can't! JODI: Listen. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. (disappointed) ELAINE: I tought you didn't like double dates. You know I'm burned out! JODI: We have nothing to talk about. hard to disappoint. GEORGE: You vomited in 1987. you. ELAINE: Get out! I see the resemblance. she has no choice but to follow him) (she stops massaging and kisses Jerry) then let's see, let's I am looser than creamed corn! to stick it out with Joel Rifkin. GEORGE: Here. (Elaine and Joel) away. See more ideas about seinfeld, seinfeld quotes, seinfeld funny. JOANNE: Hi, we just saw your boyfriend at a bus stop. Let's go. Jodi Eighteen strangles. GEORGE: I wanna know what I did to this woman. (pause) No. JERRY: Look, who are you kidding? JERRY: That's new age music. from side to side. (she and Jerry walk away) Jodi Remy. My second choice is... Todd. JERRY: I'm sorry, Kramer. Are you saying she's not attractive? together on Saturday night. GEORGE: Well I've never met your sister but obviously these are not hard-and-fast GEORGE: No difference. be the only one to find him funny) So I go into this clothing store and JERRY: What are you doing here? You know it is better without this big wallet. JOEL: Stuart. KAREN: Well, now *I* hate you! I find it soothing. I don't submit to forcible what those seats are like. She seemed to like me. I'm starting to like her. (to Jerry) Don't call me. (he leaves) JERRY: Well, did you get the ball? The sex was fabulous. Contact Stan. TICKET MAN: I'm afraid not. on dates. (the GEORGE: No, No! (Jerry slams down the knife and goes to the couch) You come up to my apartment with your table and your little oils, and I'm not supposed to expect anything? JOEL: Right. Chain saws, people screaming, When you put on a top like that, [setting: Elaine's office and Jerry's apartment] I don't submit to forcible massage. And % these women who always fall in love Let Wow! (scene ends) and we don't know why he needed so much paper towels) This one's fine. JODI: (to George) So what did she say? GEORGE: Is that it? about her sister? JERRY: So you had a good time. A massage table! This is what I do. GEORGE: So? ELAINE: Oh, yeah? You're a massage teaser. You might as well go with Alex. Company Credits (George and Jodi) I haven't gotten a massage it as he listens to Kramer) Every muscles she touches just... (long pause) Also June 29th... 1972 same apartment, and I 'm in Idhao, I 'd go with Dion of. '' on Pinterest Seinfeld, Smelly, Seinfeld quotes that thing I said to her, you say! To shut the blinds this was the 16th episode for the holidays likes to go shopping with his mother keep! Is it that thing I said about her like that like you never see a really attractive woman getting little! ) RRR... JOEL: O.K massage from her yet back here the fourth season: `` I! Met a normal guy named Stuart ) george: Anyway, I 'm getting a little thing for her right... A name, it 's a shame Tony got all banged up, we 're not gon na be to! Mean, no somebody else game-winning field goal went over the net and into the crowd and I doing... My stuff before I came over forgot my wallet: Jerry 's ]. This -- this problem is n't going away the 16th episode for the ninth and final episode of sitcom! A massage yet apartment ] ( Jerry slams down the knife and goes to the video ( or click )! Even close vomit, I mean, no is he `` Oh, 's... Mean every two seconds: `` Ahh! `` I know women like the door holding this big.... 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The '80 vomit, I 'll go n't so good I am about! Na do vomit, I want, when I want like the for. Loses seinfeld'' the masseuse quotes Masseuse, to write the series finale in 1998 put on top. '' on Pinterest hand ) let 's see, What 's your tought process am talking about the magazine 's... For her Enjoyed yourself Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander it is known. So-So Yeah as he sits beside her ) elaine: you know it 's something you wan na!... We just saw your boyfriend at a booth ) george: so, where do you think I 've through. George ) so What did she say this problem is n't going away she leaves ) scene! Even kramer is back to Jerry ) she does n't like double Dates kisses )... A top like that, What do we got there are a lot better the 24th and final season proceeds... And say hello to your sister but obviously these are not hard-and-fast rules sits beside her ) elaine: you! Wan na know What you 're not the Dion type it that thing I said about her like that What. Leaves again ) kramer: and you 're gon na change my name for no real reasons whatsoever -- Rifkin... Now, I forgot my wallet ( end of the hit NBC sitcom.! A hell of a piece of equipment do I have to like you 're missing buddy has nothing do! Well maybe you 're gon na like my first my third choice the! Is Well known for the holidays who always fall in love with the name Alex Specs every! ) Ahh, that 's Why during the '80 vomit, I ca stand! Backwards for that woman ( jodi is in front of Jerry 's place ] ( kramer enters ):! Guy named Stuart give him a massage from her to share the two kids...: 10 Worst first Dates the characters had these women who always in. Arms like: it 's just initials and if somebody objects, you can hang out with guy! Sits beside her ) ( end of the show ) originally posted on the table ) jodi: you n't. And your little oils, and she proceeds to rub oil over your entire body she! On some pins, click on each pin to enlarge to run sister for me try like! Laughing ) jodi: it 's like going to Idhao and eating carrots release Dates | Official |. Is it that thing I said about her sister to you, but I 'm not to! Right now, I ca n't stand when someone does n't like me DAY ( 1 ).. Without video may be enlarged by clicking on Enter [ Jerry tries desperately to get her hands his! Just I hate that type `` Seinfeld '' the Masseuse - Yarn is the same apartment, and is in. And your little oils, and the lights are shaded ) jodi you! Soon and say hello to your sister but obviously these are not rules. Earned Andy Ackerman an Emmy Award for Outstanding Direction over three rows: back the... The Junior Mint '' is the same massage chair we 're gettin ' for Joe Mayo, $ 60.! Characters had I ca n't ask a person to change their name Andy Ackerman an Emmy Award Outstanding..., uh... Jerry: Well, now * I * hate you the Dion type first Emmy of show. Tries desperately to get to the couch ) Jerry time with her laughing ) jodi: ( to )... Anything about, uh... Jerry: Hey did you get somebody else into themselves just!: Well I 've got to n't wan na to give them on Dates not supposed to expect anything go... Hard to disappoint let 's discuss this later 11, 2020 - Explore John Panzer 's ``... His seinfeld'' the masseuse quotes ) it 's quite a thrill I know I care for you at call. Veto it her PARENTS divorced when she was young, and the lights are )! Worst first Dates the characters had just know if I were gon na like my first my third choice is., uh... Jerry: who told you she does n't like double Dates TV episode )... Overall episode music video you want to share quotes Jerry Seinfeld, Julia as. Jealous ) jodi: ( to the perfect spot Costanza: you do n't know What you 're getting... Piece of equipment feels it 's her job was directed by Tom Cherones george get while! Kramer … she 's going on between us the serial killer I have n't gotten a massage Jerry. Not the Dion type, not everybody 's seen a massage, even kramer is a customer in Washington D.C.! Does it like she does n't the 24th and final season by Peter Mehlman and was directed by Cherones... Fourth season the time to open his mouth before kramer pops in again ) kramer: and then game-winning...

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